Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Servant's Tale, Part 2

So now I find myself in this shack in the woods, alone with a man who tried to kill me because he spent most of the terribly small quantity of energy in his minuscule brain jumping to conclusions, leaving him with none to stop and question his intended course of action. The dilemma hereafter becomes; what to do with the little fucker? I mean, beyond amputating his hand, obviously, but that wasn't so much a punishment as something for him to remember his failures by. Like a post-it, though I hope my memento will stick a bit longer.

I mean, it has to be a symbolic punishment, obviously. A lobotomy seems obvious, given that this whole story was caused by his stupid brain, but that procedure might be a bit too difficult. Castration is generally a good one and seems quite straightforward, but I think a bit overused? Or maybe I should blind him. Y'know, a pun on his shortsightedness?

But, hey, I'm magnanimous enough. You all obviously care about Sufjan a lot more than I do (I mean, seriously, he got a whole two comments on his last post, even if none of them were actually expressing concern for his circumstances), so I'll take your suggestions. Do any of you have any ideas on a suitable punishment for young McBride?
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5 comments:

  1. DJ AtomikaApril 20, 2012 at 2:11 AM

    Why don't you let him go? He's already suffered enough as it is, and if you're the really sick, cruel, twisted sort that you already are, you'd let him go. Why? He'd suffer more at the hands- er, tentacles- er, whatever, that these eldritch abominations have more than a mere human like you could ever inflict.

    So why not just let him go?

    - DJ

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    1. Royal RichardsonApril 20, 2012 at 12:06 PM

      Right, because the tall guy can't get to him as long as I have him. If he wants Sufjan, he's there for the taking. Since he's not taking him, I can only assume he doesn't want to, in which case, I'm going to be the one who punishes him.

      And the reason, amigo, is that Sufjan's suffering so far was either self-inflicted or a memento rather than a punishment. He tried to kill me. If he's going to continue to claim moral superiority over me, then he's going to have face consequences for his actions.

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  2. The GargoyleApril 20, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    So you're not looking to kill, merely punish? See, I had a feeling you were a reasonable gent.

    Alright... lets see then. I'm assuming "push him off a roof" has already crossed your mind and that's about as creative as I get in these matters, so lets try a different approach... After you fell, not the immediate impact, but the aftermath and the recovery, you must have been in some kind of pain or general irritation. Imagine how you felt then and then try to think of a similar feeling you could compare it to, then inflict that feeling upon him via other means. Something comparable, so you can say "And this is what that feels like. You ass."

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    1. Royal RichardsonApril 20, 2012 at 4:39 PM

      Actually, as I alluded to in my previous post, I have a condition which makes me indifferent to pain, so if I was to follow your idea, I would be punishing Sufjan with something that doesn't really bother him.

      Thank you for taking the time to submit a suggestion though.

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    2. The GargoyleApril 23, 2012 at 7:42 AM

      So you're punishing him for something which was really only a minor inconvenience for you then...? Hmm... yeah, not sure how to really gauge a punishment then. But I'm sure you've thought of something in the time it's taken for me to get back to this. I hope it's not too damaging...

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